Tuesday, July 16, 2013

"You're okay."

With Squirrel being four, he is really picking up on the things we say. He recites phrases we commonly use with each other or with him and it is usually in context. Many times it makes us laugh. For example, while putting away his clean clothes I asked him to make sure the pajamas were going into the pajama drawer. He then said "What's the difference?".

The things he says to us makes me think about the phrases we use around our boys. Thankfully we don't swear or use 'colorful' words that would be inappropriate for a preschooler.

The other day he accidentally hit me in the head with a toy... it really hurt. He comes over and apologizes. After apologizing he gives me a hug and says "You're okay", then started rubbing my back. He then repeated "you're ok".  I sat there thinking, "No, I'm not okay, why are you telling me I'm okay?" But then I realized, that is what I say to him when he gets hurt or is upset about something.

All this time when he is in pain I have been saying "You're okay" thinking it would make him feel better.

I didn't like being told how I felt. Why should I be telling my child how he feels. He may not understand the situation, it may not bother him to be told "you're okay". Maybe it is comforting to him, but I can't bring myself to say it again.

Whenever the situation comes up now, I stop myself before uttering those words. I wasn't okay when he was telling me I was okay. I will not continue to tell him he is okay when I know he is in pain. I have been trying to say "you'll be okay" or "it'll be okay" instead.

What do you normally say to your child to console them when they are in pain? Are there phrases you have said to your children that they repeat to you which made you re-evaluate the words you use in a particular situation?


  1. omg that's so cute

    knickgirl_3 at yahoo dot com

  2. My little ones are older and I am a grammie now. I had to think back and I would say "you're going to be OK" and then explain to him how the ouch happened - such as saying "xyz was being a bold boy. It's not nice to ... 'cause it can hurt someone. See it gave you an ouch!"

  3. I try not to make a big deal out of things. I'll say something like, "Yup, you sure did scrape yourself. That looks like it hurts. Let's get it cleaned up, and it'll stop hurting soon." It makes situations way less dramatic.